Wednesday, January 14, 2015

He Is Who We Thought He Were

I'm going to assume everyone heard what happened in France last week. And as a response history invited the leaders of the free world to march together and symbolically stand against those that would use violence to silence speech and freedom and, of course, Obama decided not to show up. And this looks bad. I mean real bad. Heck, this might be one of those trivial failures of leadership that would make even liberals who write history worried that history might be unfair to Obama. And since Obama is above providing excuses for behavior ill-befitting a president as clearly awesome as he is, I, in a spirit of bipartisanshipness, might as well provide a few possible excuses as to why he was unable to attend. Not that he requires them.
  • Guess who picked "Keep Joe from putting his tongue on frozen lamp posts" out of the hat this month. It's freakin' winter! That's a full time job!
  • He totally missed it on purpose. Can't you just imagine how the Republicans are going to embarrass themselves by over-reaching on this one? Checkmate jerks!
  • To be fair, he said he had a pen and a phone and he was going to use them. He never said anything about Air Force One.
  • Right, like he's just going to start presidenting right after he just came back from vacation. You've got to ease back into these things or you're going to pull a muscle.
  • Let's just say that when he was in Hawaii he picked up a certain "package" from a certain old "gang" and there was no way he was going to let that get moldy.
  • Excuse me but they specifically invited the leaders of the free world. Obama's the president of America.
  • What part of "The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam" don't you understand?
  • What's the big deal, history gives do overs, right?

Monday, January 12, 2015

"I'll Show You A God Falls Asleep On The Job"


Monday, January 5, 2015

I Heard The News This Year, Oh Boy

We Certainly Were Wise To Hitch Our Wagons To His Star

"Although Democrats lost big at the polls, and Republicans will have control of both chambers of Congress over the next two years, the White House believes it has put the GOP on the defensive over the past two months."




p.s. And if you're wondering about the phrase "less politically constrained" that the Royal Court Of Obama (the press) keeps using, it translates to, approximately, unaccountable but with a large dose of cowardice.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of A Sudden Again

  • Did the Death Star have a lower setting? Like could they have killed a nation instead of just blowing up the whole planet?
  • I've been on the internet since about 1985. Although not consecutively.
  • Grand Prixes don't offer a grand prize anymore. You get paid at the end of the year.
  • Roger Moore never ordered a martini as James Bond.
  • Obama doesn't just need to be impeached, he needs to be imwatermelonned because those are bigger and they'll hurt more.
  • The main difference between justice and social justice is that social justice is a lot more lucrative. And also is not about justice.