Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Good Things About Insomnia

People are always complaining about insomnia and spending a lot of money treating it, but no one ever talks about the good things about insomnia. such as...

  • I sleep so soundly when I finally do fall asleep that I'm not really bothered when I wake up with blood on my hands.
  • You sound clever when you say,"It's not insomnia, it's sleep sobriety."
  • I'm less inhibited at night. With no one around to judge me, I'm free from oppressive social norms, which allows me to be myself. And to break into people's cars and steal stereos.
  • Those bags under my eyes make me look more experienced.
  • People don't bother you in the morning when you have blood shot eyes and you're on your tenth cup of coffee in five minutes.
  • You get to meet a lot of interesting people when you shop at Walmart at 2am.
  • I can make jokes about how the govmint implanted a chip in my head that won't allow me to sleep, and look like I mean it.
  • Babbling incoherently can be blamed on insomnia, whether you had enough sleep or not.
  • A lack of sleep makes even the most inane joke really funny.
  • What?! Like you sleepers are so special?!


  1. I became a night person 35 years ago. Those two weeks of day shift, and two weeks of night shift, were making me and my metabolism dangerous. Call me a yang wrang, in a yin world, and I can back that up with my .000017, astrological compatibility, with people in the real world. I'm the guy with the little black cloud over his head, the night watchman, fire piquet, the sentinel. It's not a 24 hour society, and my time to myself, suits me just fine.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I am currently using these as my feel-good Affirmation Statements.