Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Is That What I Think It Is?

Most surprising things found in Michael Jackson's autopsy:

  • His veins were filled with Jesus juice.
  • LA County used the same film crew from "Alien Autopsy"
  • He was not "anatomically correct".
  • The coroner kept screaming,"What the hell is this!?"
  • He had two tatoos, "Neverland Forever" and "NY Mets Suck"
  • A previous surgery had replaced all his bones with graham crackers.
  • He had, like, six nipples!
  • He was not made of candy like he told those children.
  • His Jheri Curl levels were dangerously low.
  • The bottom of his feet were coated with Teflon for moon-walking.
  • Kind of creepy the way he would say "HEEHEE!" every time you poked him.
  • Did not have a surgically implanted kangaroo pouch as reported in the Enquirer and Washington Post.
  • Had knife and gunshot wounds from when he was bangin' back in the day.
  • They found his other glove.

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