Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I Need To Stop Falling Asleep With The Television On

I had a dream about James Rosen of Fox News. Yeah I know, he totally looks like former Phoenix Suns player, Jeff Hornacek. Anyway, in the dream I was at the park having lunch sitting on a bench. I was drinking coffee and he walked by wearing a walrus mask and whistling All You Need Is Love. "Beatles fan, huh?" "What? How did you know I wasn't a David Crosby fan?" he said. "Well, the Sgt. Peppers suit is kind of a give-away. You must be a really big Beatles fan. Would you like a ham and cheese sandwich", I said. "Sure" he said, "and I'm also quite the hair lock afficionado." While he was eating his sandwich, he mentioned something about how legalising handguns in Washington D.C. might lead to more crime in an already crime-ridden city. I countered,"Handguns in the possession of law-abiding citizens would actually lower crime because criminals might be hesitant to rob someone if they knew they were going to get their face blown off." He stupidly disagreed, to which I said,"If you can produce one study that shows an increase in crime when law-abiding citizens own guns, I will get you a lock of both Paul McCartney's and Ringo Starr's hair." He squealed, "I'll get that study, or die trying!" and scampered off across the park. Just then, I noticed Yoko Ono getting out of a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud to walk her Muensterlander in the park. I yelled to Rosen, "And I'll shave Yoko's head for free!"

postscript: I'm well aware a psychiatrist could interpret all sorts of things from this dream, but I'm more disturbed that I had a dream with Yoko Ono in it and I wasn't bludgeoning her with that Muensterlander for what she did to the Beatles.

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