Wednesday, October 28, 2009

There's A Zombie! In The White House!

I'm only going to say this once, Rahm Emanuel is a zombie! That's right, a zombie...oh wait that's twice. Anyway, it is kind of obvious when you think about it. Those sunken dead eyes. The Tourette's-like profanity with no regard for human norms. His support for the Democratic Party platform. Do you really think he is sending dead fish to people because he is trying to scare them? No, it's because, as a zombie, he can only eat the flesh of his own kind! Fish, or for that matter any food not harvested from human beings, are absolutely useless to him. He can't even eat bacon if you can believe that. Of course you may be asking yourself, "How, in this modern era, can anyone become a zombie. Don't you have to be bitten by a zombie to become a zombie?" I asked myself the same question, until I noticed something in a photo of Rahm Emanuel, a missing finger! That's not Photoshopped people! Obviously, it's been bitten clean off! Now, we all know that Democrats have a penchant for biting other peoples' fingers off, but now we know why... they can't stop themselves! They're zombies! But the real question is who bit off Rahm's finger and gave him his horrible blood lust for human flesh? Who......?

That's right, Barry Obama. Here's a photo of Barry finishing off one of the journalists from Fox News. Obama has recently been working overtime trying to discredit Fox News, because he knows that if he discredits them, people will stop watching them and he can harvest their tasty carcasses without anyone noticing. As near as we can tell, Barry became a zombie as part of his voodoo religion in Kenya, his real birthplace. When asked for comment Obama was quoted as saying, "I Eat U Bones! Mmmm, U Deeelishus!"

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