Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
10 Get elected
20 Don't read bills
30 Waste trillions
40 Goto 10
Due to FAA regulations, this item must be shipped via ground.
I was ordering a guitar.
Wow, what a petulant stupid jerk. As someone on another blog said, he looks like he's about a second away from stamping his feet and holding his breath because he's not getting his way. Nice job electing this guy, New York. No, I'm being serious. Because every day this guy is in Washington, that's another day where there's one less a-hole in New York.
"It used to be Phoenix and L.A. and New York and Boston and New York or Philly or somebody on the East Coast,'' Jackson, speaking before Tuesday's game against Milwaukee at the Staples Center, said of the once much more reduced NBA schedule on Christmas. " Now, I see they have like six games (actually, five) on Christmas. It's like Christian holidays don't mean anything to (the NBA) anymore. You just go out and play and entertain (on) TV. It's really weird.''
That's twice in the same year that I've agreed with Phil Jackson. I may need to start drinking less. Or more.
p.s. And when did Yahoo Sports get taken over by such huge douchebags?
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
- Waive him. It will be a tough hit on the salary cap, but we need to think about the future of this organization.
- Evict him. Seriously, we own that place, we can kick him out. And who's going to take a homeless President seriously? Nobody, that's who.
- Convince him that the White House is haunted.
- Close the borders the next time he takes a trip.
- De-Manchurianize him. Then get him his old job back at The Sizzler.
- Tell him he won the lottery. Maybe he'll retire.
- Put a bunch of catnip in the crawl spaces in the White House. That'll keep him busy for at least a couple years cause that place is huge.
- Take away his teleprompter. It won't make him leave but at least it'll shut him up.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
"Even before the votes are counted, Senator Evan Bayh is warning fellow Democrats that ignoring the lessons of the Massachusetts Senate race will “lead to even further catastrophe” for their party.
“There’s going to be a tendency on the part of our people to be in denial about all this,” Bayh told ABC News, but “if you lose Massachusetts and that’s not a wake-up call, there’s no hope of waking up.”
What is the lesson of Massachusetts – where Democrats face the prospects of losing a Senate seat they’ve held since 1952? For Senator Bayh the lesson is that the party pushed an agenda that is too far to the left, alienating moderate and independent voters.
“It’s why moderates and independents even in a state as Democratic as Massachusetts just aren’t buying our message,” he said. “They just don’t believe the answers we are currently proposing are solving their problems. That’s something that has to be corrected.” "
But clearly, he was the only one, no? It's not like anyone else saw this coming, right?
"Congressional strategists had warned in the closing days of the Massachusetts Senate race that a Coakley defeat had the potential to trigger a series of retirements within the Democratic ranks as members flee a political wave that could wash out dozens in the House and high single digits on the Senate side.
"My message to my clients? Jump ship now," said one Democratic operative who advises a number of targeted Members of Congress. "Obama can't help you." "
Whoops, I guess everyone saw it coming. And yet they went full speed ahead anyway, which makes Democrats who lose tomorrow and in 2012 more like sacrificial lambs to a freaked out liberal agenda than accidental victims of the economy. Just like the rest of us.
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
There's no sign of life
It's just the power to charm
I'm lying in the rain
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
Never gonna fall for (modern love)
Walks beside me (modern love)
Walks on by (modern love)
Gets me to the church on time
(Church on time) terrifies me
(Church on time) makes me party
(Church on time) puts my trust in God and man
(God and man) no confession
(God and man) no religion
(God and man) don't believe in modern love
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
- Colorado-Republican win.
- Illinois-I want to say Republican, but this is Illinois.
- Nevada-Harry Reid loses! (I hope).
- Pennsylvania-I'm leaning Republican here.
- Washington-Poor Dino Rossi (R), That's like 3 lost elections in a row.
- West Virginia-This should be a Republican pickup, but probably not.
Which leaves us at 51 Democrat senators, 49 Republicans, although it could be as bad as 53-47. I've still got my fingers crossed that something big will happen and surprise everyone. Barney Frank or Boxer losing would be good. Either way, it puts Obama's legislative reign of terror to an end. Now we get to see his presidential abuse-of-power side. Woohoo!
Addendum: And unfortunately I think Jerry Brown might win governor of California. Do I care because someone of a different political stripe won? No, I care because I live the next state over, and the same idiots that elect this trash are the first ones to leave after they make a mess of their own state. If they kept their mistakes in their own state, this wouldn't be so bad, but they're electing Jerry Freakin' Brown(via iowntheworld.com)...
Update: 11/4 Republicans won the House big. As for my senate predictions, out of the six, it looks like I got four right although some have moved on to hand counts. And the only one that surprises me is Colorado. What the heck happened to Colorado?
Monday, October 25, 2010
Exit quote in case you're not convinced of the government's non-suckage: "Government workers "are a lot of cool cats" who work hard, listen to good music and watch Stewart's "The Daily Show," "but that's all after they've spent a whole day keeping the country running," "
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Results for dick cheney may contain adult-oriented content.Your SafeSearch filter must be turned off to display these results.
"Is Valles scared? "Here everyone is frightened," she told Mexican news media. "We are going to exchange this fear for security." CNN also interviewed her. She said she's expanding her force, which will be mostly female and unarmed. "The weapons we have are principles and values, which are the best weapons for prevention," she told CNN en Español. "Our work will be pure prevention. We are not going to be doing anything else other than prevention." "
It's naive and just awful. Gee, I'm glad we have a smart diligent President here in the U.S. who fully understands what's going on on the border and is responding accordingly to prevent this violence from spilling over here.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?
Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Sunday, October 10, 2010
- Why is it that they can't show smoking on television because supposedly kids would imitate it, yet they still show murders, rapes and Bill Maher.
- Chess tournaments actually test for blood doping and anabolic steroids. Really.
- You'd be surprised how many obscene gestures you can't make when you have a broken thumb.
- Brazilians aren't hispanic: they don't speak Spanish.
- Haiti leads the world in the export of cadavers. ((shudder))
- Armored trucks aren't armored, they're just made out of thick aluminum.
- Whether you only believe in creationism or evolution, people like Michael Moore are pretty much a failure of both.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Suffocate the stars with light.
You hold my hand goodbye.
"tell me something brave tell me something kind" you sigh.
And you lied.
And I lied.
We're so kind?
What pretty little things we are.
You shot forth and braved the books.
I cut my teeth on filthy looks.
A last match love? It seemed so.
"Tell me something nice tell me something clean or go."
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
First a "retarded" woman was executed in Virginia. How could this have happened? Well, it seems that legal types have made it harder for lawyers to claim a defendent is "insane", so now the défense du jour is that their murdering defendent is totally retarded because those evidentiary standards are lower (for now). So how could a woman who arranged to have her son and husband murdered for insurance money be considered retarded? Well, according to the jury, she couldn't be. And now she died a nice peaceful death instead of the shotgunning she planned and carried out on her son and husband. She really was a horrible person, despite the sob story the media tries to write at the link above.
Second, Congress decided to change the term "mental retarded" to "an individual with an intellectual disability" in all federal laws. Is this political correctness run amock again? Yeah, probably, because it won't be long before "intellectual disability" obtains the same stigma that retarded has, in which case they'll have to change "intellectual disabilty" to something else. Of course, it could just be it got changed because people with intellectual disabilities got tired of being compared to Congress members(zing!).
And the most retarded...sorry... an individual with an intellectual disability-ness that you'll see all week? This....
Friday, September 17, 2010
p.s. Here's Jon Stewart! "You may be asking yourself, right now, sitting at home, but am I the right type of person to go to this rally," said Stewart. "The fact that you would even stop to ask yourself that question, as opposed to just, let's say, jumping up, grabbing the nearest stack of holy books, strapping on a diaper and just pointing your car toward D.C. — that means I think you might just be right for it."
Thursday, September 16, 2010
- New cars only have one door with a keyhole. No, really, go look.
- Mel Gibson is American. No seriously, go look it up.
- The best part about arguing with people on the phone is slamming the phone down after the conversation is over. Doing that to someone in person is very hard on the back.
- People who are younger than me have no idea what "slamming the phone down" means.
- The Jews don't control the mainstream media, Muslims do.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Been following datelines, honey. And I hit the snow.
I found where my fate lies wrapped up like a small novella
Contained by a hundred pictures all of you
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
p.s. Wouldn't it be wicked awesome if we had a President who got as upset over burning American flags as he does over burning Korans?
AFC East- Either the Jets or the Patriots, with second place probably getting to the playoffs anyway. Buffalo looks bad, and Miami looks like they're backsliding.
AFC South- Colts to win, Titans to get the other wild card. Jacksonville and the Texans not doing so well. I mean, seriously, the Texans picked up Leinart(?!).
AFC West- San Diego wins, the Broncos might make it close, KC gets to watch. The Raiders continue their off- and sometimes on- field horror show.
NFC North- Minnesota probably wins the division, but Green Bay keeps getting better, though the Packers lost some stupid games last year. Jay Cutler's a punk so I don't see da Bears doing any better than last year. The world continues to weep for Detroit.
NFC East- Still the division where every team matches up with every other team. I lean toward the hated Cowboys, but the Iggles or the Giants could be strong enough to win this division. I just don't see the winner (or wildcard) going very far in the playoffs, unless Jerry Jones freaks out midseason.
NFC South- Atlanta's a solid team, maybe the wild card if the Eagles or the Giants don't do well, but New Orleans wins this division pretty easy. Tampa and Carolina don't look so hot.
I don't see the top teams this year being any different from last year, though there's usually a couple of surprise teams. I just can't figure out who. I'm not going to pick the playoff or Superbowl yet, but I'll make a much worse prediction. The league will have a lock-out/strike and we're probably going to lose the 2011 season. The new head of the players union is an Obama-bot, complete with the stupid "playing in the NFL=slavery" and "socialism is awesome" rhetoric. I hope I'm wrong, but it might be good to enjoy this season a little more than usual.
p.s. Also, I pick Minnesota to win the opener, though it should be a good game either way.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
And If you don't know what rule five is...
Cherry ice cream smile, I suppose it's very nice
With a step to your left and a flick to the right
You catch that mirror way out west
You know you're something special and you look like you're the best
I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on TV
Two of a billion stars, it means so much to me
Like a birthday or a pretty view
But then I'm sure that you know it's just for you
Hey now, woo! Look at that! Didn't it nearly run you down?
At the end of the drive, the lawmen arrive
You make me feel alive, alive alive
I'll take my chance cause luck is on my side or something
I know what you're thinking, I tell you something, I know what you're thinking
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
"Here's the memo's argument about the number of seats in play:
Republicans will need to win 39 seats to take back the House. Democrats will win at least four Republican seats (the best opportunities include: LA-02, HI-01, IL-10, DE-AL, FL-25). As a result, the real number of seats Republicans will have to pick up to win a majority is at least 43. "
Ummm, no, Republicans still need to win 39 seats. All 435 seats are up for election. Right now Republicans have 179 seats and they need 39 seats to get to a majority. The idea that Republicans need to win 43 means that Dems don't think they'll lose any seats they hold now. The interesting logic comes when the memo says they will win at least four Republican seats. Well, if you take the "best opportunities" seats listed, 4 of them are listed as a tossup or lean Democrat in polls (FL-25 leans Republican). That's all fine and good, except those four races are the only Republican seats leaning or a tossup for Democrats. You know how many Democratic seats lean Republican or are tossups? 54! So by House leadership memo logic, Democrats will win 4 Republican seats, but Republicans will win 54 Democratic seats. 54 minus 4 equals a gain of 50 seats. For Republicans.
h/t Gabriel Malor
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
- The Buzzcocks-Harmony In My Head
- Jon Spencer Blues Explosion-Full Grown(language warning, ask your parents)
- Pissing Razors-Dodging Bullets
- Queens Of The Stone Age-3's And 7's
- David Bowie-Modern Love
- Camera Obscura-Honey In The Sun
- Pia Fraus-Japanese Heart Software
- The Primitives-Secrets
- STAR-Artificial Planes
Thursday, July 22, 2010
- When the police come by asking about recent hit and runs in the area, apparently having "Murdersaurus" scrawled on your truck in human blood is some sort of tip off.
- If I wore dress pants in the traditional manner, I would wonder why they are harder to take off than regular pants.
- When people talk about someone's "meteoric rise", do they realize that meteors don't rise, they fall. From the sky. And crash.
- There's an old line that says you shouldn't mock the dead. But mocking the living also has its share of problems, especially if the living have guns.
- When Joe Biden looks in the mirror, do you think he sees what we see, or do you think he sees some random dude with a mustache?
- I certainly hope France (the country) knows that banning face veils will present an undue hardship on ninjas. They're the real victims here.