Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Taxman Cometh And He Taketh Away

No one likes paying taxes. Sure, go ahead and gripe about taxes, but there are some good things about it...
  • Paying taxes redistributes the wealth, which is better than working hard for something. You can't imagine how much joy your money brings to the 47% of the country that doesn't pay taxes.
  • Knowing that my taxes go to worthwhile projects, like buying $4 million worth of 10W-40 motor oil a year for Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer's hair, just gives me a special feeling.
  • With the government so desperate for cash, now is the time to launder that drug money. I doubt if they'd bother to check.
  • One of the most rewarding things about paying taxes is knowing that it will be used to pay for more Ben-Gay to soothe Michelle Obama's massive forearms after she works out.
  • If you e-File, your tax payment goes directly to both the U.S. Government and Russian mobsters, which saves paper and trees.
  • Without taxpayer money funding research, how would we know about the sex lives of swamp shrews?
  • Paying taxes is not just patriotic, it also buys Barack Obama more diapers.
  • The anticipation of seeing if you get your tax refund before the government goes bankrupt is just thrilling.
  • Paying my taxes helps Democratic New York Representative (and noted tax cheat) Charles Rangel relax on the beach in the Caribbean.

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