Thursday, October 28, 2010

This Is Why Matt Drudge Rules

Damn racists.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Election Prediction Time

I might as well get this over with now. Do Republicans win the House? Say goodbye to Nancy, cause! Although that's not much of a surprise. RealClear Politics has Republicans winning 223 seats now, which gives them a gain of 45 seats when they needed 39 to get a majority, and that's without even counting the 34 toss-ups, quite a few of which the Republicans can still win. Now, do Republicans win the Senate? Nah. Right now, RealClear has it 49 to 45 for the Dems. Unfortunately Barbara Boxer is not listed as a tossup anymore, which sucks. That leaves 6 tossup states.
  • Colorado-Republican win.
  • Illinois-I want to say Republican, but this is Illinois.
  • Nevada-Harry Reid loses! (I hope).
  • Pennsylvania-I'm leaning Republican here.
  • Washington-Poor Dino Rossi (R), That's like 3 lost elections in a row.
  • West Virginia-This should be a Republican pickup, but probably not.

Which leaves us at 51 Democrat senators, 49 Republicans, although it could be as bad as 53-47. I've still got my fingers crossed that something big will happen and surprise everyone. Barney Frank or Boxer losing would be good. Either way, it puts Obama's legislative reign of terror to an end. Now we get to see his presidential abuse-of-power side. Woohoo!

Addendum: And unfortunately I think Jerry Brown might win governor of California. Do I care because someone of a different political stripe won? No, I care because I live the next state over, and the same idiots that elect this trash are the first ones to leave after they make a mess of their own state. If they kept their mistakes in their own state, this wouldn't be so bad, but they're electing Jerry Freakin' Brown(via

Update: 11/4 Republicans won the House big. As for my senate predictions, out of the six, it looks like I got four right although some have moved on to hand counts. And the only one that surprises me is Colorado. What the heck happened to Colorado?

Shocking Obama Photo Discovered!

7 Days To Go...

Unless you want them to keep laughing.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Bill Clinton Needs To STFU

Bill Clinton is 'disturbed and ticked off'. Apparently this mighty paragon of truthfulness is upset that Republicans aren't telling the 'real' truth, that the economy is just fine and that people aren't out of work or something. But this quote really frosts my backside, "I almost gag when I hear these Republicans lambasting the president and the Democrats in Congress, 'Oh, they're such big spenders, they're just crazy, they're quasi-socialist,'" he said during the rally at the University of Michigan. "I have a simple question: Who's the last president to give you a balanced budget?" You're supposed to say, "You are, Bill Clinton!" without remembering that the only reason the budget was balanced back then was because Republicans had gained control of Congress because a certain president (guess who!) had pushed liberal garbage down the electorate's throat to the point that they kicked Democrats out of office in an historic election. (Hmmm, that sounds kind of similar to this year for some reason.) And another thing, we were trillions of dollars in debt during Clinton's terms, so "balancing the budget" is the same as saying, "Hey everybody! I'm still in debt, but I didn't spend more than I made this month." Now that's an accomplishment to crow about!

The Government Is An Entity Of Non-Suckage

Hey, if you're going to Jon Stewart's "Rally Against Glenn Beck" this weekend, keep your eyes peeled for a super awesome co-rally called "Government Doesn't Suck". Government workers will be marching in support of...government workers, because they don't like that people think they suck. So put away your misconceptions about the DMV, workers getting paid extravagantly for not doing much and the massive debt and... okay, I can't do it. They suck and there's no way around it. We're closing in on 14 trillion dollars in debt because of a stupid and wasteful government and 2 trillion of that is just in the last two years. In fact, that's the very definition of suck, or at least of a very large vacuum.

Exit quote in case you're not convinced of the government's non-suckage: "Government workers "are a lot of cool cats" who work hard, listen to good music and watch Stewart's "The Daily Show," "but that's all after they've spent a whole day keeping the country running," "

Thursday, October 21, 2010

What The Heck Is This?!

So I wanted to find a picture of Dick Cheney to photochop and put "Dick Cheney" in Yahoo's image search. This is what I got...

Results for dick cheney may contain adult-oriented content.Your SafeSearch filter must be turned off to display these results.


The Best Metaphor For Voting For ObamaCare That I've Seen So Far

Remember last year when Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were trying to lasso in some votes for ObamaCare and they told those reticent Democrats how they could use their yes vote to campaign and get reelected, because ObamaCare was like totally going to be popular once people "found out what was in it"? Oddly enough, it hasn't worked out that way. Most polls are showing a tidal wave of lost seats for the Democrats, and also losing control of the House. They may even lose control of the Senate. But don't weep for those poor lost misguided little Democrats, they served their purpose. In fact, it's their own fault. They should have been suspicious when Nancy Pelosi asked them, "Would you rather be a potato or a carrot?"

She's A Goner

This makes me sad. Who's the newest police chief of a violence-plagued Mexican city? A cute 20 year old college student, because no one else wanted the job. Maybe they heard what happens to city officials in Mexico. Yikes.

"Is Valles scared? "Here everyone is frightened," she told Mexican news media. "We are going to exchange this fear for security." CNN also interviewed her. She said she's expanding her force, which will be mostly female and unarmed. "The weapons we have are principles and values, which are the best weapons for prevention," she told CNN en Español. "Our work will be pure prevention. We are not going to be doing anything else other than prevention." "

It's naive and just awful. Gee, I'm glad we have a smart diligent President here in the U.S. who fully understands what's going on on the border and is responding accordingly to prevent this violence from spilling over here.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

We Need The Kind Of Football Players Who Aren't Afraid To Put Feminine Products Up Their Noses

Joe Paterno says that to avoid the injuries we're seeing in football today, we should take away the facemask because it's a weapon. He didn't play with a facemask, so why should anyone today? Why do we have facemasks? Well, I have sort of a good story about that. My Biology teacher in high school was on one of the championship Oklahoma teams in the fifties and he was always telling us stories about how it was. Way back when, facemasks were only for players who had an injury to the face, like a broken nose. He told us one story where someone put an elbow to his face and busted his nose. He came back to the bench and got a helmet with a facemask, but his nose was bleeding too bad to go back in. So what did they do? They shoved junior-sized tampons up his nose. Apparently it was better than using gauze or something that couldn't be pulled out easily. Also, necessity is the mother of invention or something. As for Joe Pa's idea, I would agree, but I would go a step further, and I've been annoying people about this for years. Take away the helmet and the pads too. You can make a case that you should always have helmets (although football players have been using them as weapons for years) but I still don't know where having such huge pads came from. You would think that in a tough sport like football, you would laugh at someone who wasn't tough enough to go out there and play without all that stuff. But it started somewhere, and each year they just got more and more padding put on until they got to where they are now, using themselves as human missiles and then complaining about it.

p.s. On Monday Night Football, they were making a big deal about all the big hits the day before and how the NFL needs to suspend anyone who knocks a player out with a vicious hit. They then followed that by showing former Phoenix Cardinal Chuck Cecil making vicious hits and saying how awesome those hits were. Hilarious.
p.p.s. Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison now says that if they change the rules to protect the namby pambys, then he's going to retire. And he's right.

How Democrats Get Elected

Ewwwww, now I'm all sticky. That's right, I've been exposed once again to the creepy machinations that get Democrats elected. Yeah, I know, it's hard to be shocked at how Democrats win elections, since they only win elections by getting dead people to vote, having felons vote, creating imaginary voters and somehow losing military ballots again and again and again and again. And now they're outright bribing people to vote. Apparently, the Dems are promising to give $250 checks to seniors (but I thought we were broke?) to make them forget the screwjob they'll be getting once ObamaCare goes into full effect. It's probably going to be a hard choice for seniors, buying the b.s. that Democrats will give them free money after the election and voting for them, or voting against the Democrats, you know, the people who are going to cut off seniors' life-extending healthcare since it's not as cost-effective as giving it to people who don't feel like working for it. Choices, choices.

Two Weeks To Go Before....

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ya Gotta Help Me Doc, It's The Random Lyrics!

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?
Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of A Sudden Again

  • Why is it that they can't show smoking on television because supposedly kids would imitate it, yet they still show murders, rapes and Bill Maher.
  • Chess tournaments actually test for blood doping and anabolic steroids. Really.
  • You'd be surprised how many obscene gestures you can't make when you have a broken thumb.
  • Brazilians aren't hispanic: they don't speak Spanish.
  • Haiti leads the world in the export of cadavers. ((shudder))
  • Armored trucks aren't armored, they're just made out of thick aluminum.
  • Whether you only believe in creationism or evolution, people like Michael Moore are pretty much a failure of both.

Jerry Brown Is Pro-Women

Mr. Clean

Not To Jinx It But...

Friday, October 1, 2010

Wow, Those Sure Are Some Random Lyrics You Got There

Across the park, lights out tonight.
Suffocate the stars with light.
You hold my hand goodbye.
"tell me something brave tell me something kind" you sigh.

And you lied.
And I lied.
We're so kind?
What pretty little things we are.

You shot forth and braved the books.
I cut my teeth on filthy looks.
A last match love? It seemed so.
"Tell me something nice tell me something clean or go."