Friday, November 19, 2010

It's Time To Save The Republic

OK, Obama has been sucking more than usual. Apparently, even losing his filibuster-proof majorities because of incompetence is not going to set him straight. And hell if America can take two more years of this foolishness, so we need him outta there. Now. And since I'm a problem solver, here are some of the options I've come up with...
  • Waive him. It will be a tough hit on the salary cap, but we need to think about the future of this organization.
  • Evict him. Seriously, we own that place, we can kick him out. And who's going to take a homeless President seriously? Nobody, that's who.
  • Convince him that the White House is haunted.
  • Close the borders the next time he takes a trip.
  • De-Manchurianize him. Then get him his old job back at The Sizzler.
  • Tell him he won the lottery. Maybe he'll retire.
  • Put a bunch of catnip in the crawl spaces in the White House. That'll keep him busy for at least a couple years cause that place is huge.
  • Take away his teleprompter. It won't make him leave but at least it'll shut him up.


  1. Oh God, you got me with the teleprompter joke! I pooped myself over that one! OH MY GOD! TELEPROMPTER! It's just such a funny word, like Zamboni!

    I really don't understand why you don't have more commenters on here. With such wit and ingenuity, I'd expect your pageviews to be up there with NRO.

    Oh, and great Sizzler reference!

  2. Wow, thanks for the compliment, Matt. (And zamboni is a funny word)