Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
with vodka in her veins
been playing with a spike
she couldn't get it right
splendor in silver dress
the world was hers and then
it fell apart again
I don't need anyone to hurt me
no, not anyone at all
because my so called friends have left me
and now I don't care at all
leave me alone
leave me alone
leave me alone
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
- The silverware is arranged to show where we'll bomb next.
- If the terrorists find out we're serving kale, they'll just be that much more upset.
- The secret ingredient in mole? Socialism.
- The "mineral water" is actually just taxpayers' tears.
- They're trying to keep it quiet so an uninvited Joe Biden won't show up and give one of his usual expletives-laden toasts that go on for 40 minutes.
- They don't want you to know that they spent taxpayer money upgrading from Ramen Noodles to Dinty Moore Thick and Hearty Stew.
- Barack Obama has his own top secret nuclear-powered sippy cup.
- There's salt in everything!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
p.s. And just for the record, the cartoonist who started all of this suddenly turned as brave as Comedy Central.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
- Car having engine trouble? Drop a box on it!
- Wife won't shut up? Drop a box on it!
- Got hard water stains? Drop a box on it!
- Gun jams in the middle of a fire fight? Drop a box on it!
- Need a box that needs dropping off at the post office? Drop a box on it!
And I've been annoying people with this crap all day. It's late at night and tomorrow this probably won't seem funny at all, but right now, in my sleep-deprived state, I am just rolling on the floor.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
You say you've never seen America
I really think you'd like it there!
Maybe you should travel with me
Is this the best idea?
Because you've never seen a redwood
And you've never touched a deer
A deer, a deer, a deer
A deer, a deer, my dear.
Friday, May 7, 2010
"But Lakers Coach Phil Jackson doesn't see it that way. "Am I crazy, or am I the only one that heard [the legislature] say ‘we just took the United States immigration law and adapted it to our state," he said. "I don't think teams should get involved in the political stuff. And I think this one's still kind of coming out to balance as to how it's going to be favorably looked upon by our public. If I heard it right the American people are really for stronger immigration laws, if I'm not mistaken. Where we stand as basketball teams, we should let that kind of play out and let the political end of that go where it's going to go." "
Aaaaaa!!! At least when Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney pimped his team to support Barack Obama in the last election, he got an ambassadorship to Ireland out of it.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
- insulting the founder of a world religion
- chucking cats off the roof
- ancient secret martial arts manuals
- stuff not related to watermelon Jolly Ranchers
And maybe, if I have time, illustrations and also maybe a mascot.
p.s. If you're tired of my inanities and my politics, Jen at Morta Di Fame has a foodie blog. She started her blog about the same time I did, we're both Sicilian-Americans and, for some reason, we both have the same background color on our blogs. Also, she has photos of pizza which, next to watermelon Jolly Ranchers, is nature's perfect food.