Thursday, September 8, 2011

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of The Sudden

  • The Colbert Report is a minstrel show
  • Teachers who reach tenure don't have to pay back their student loans.
  • The lesson of Rambo: First Blood is be nice to drifters.
  • Natalie Portman is Israeli (I had no idea)
  • You cannot scan money. No really.
  • Helen Keller was a socialist.
  • The PIT maneuver is actually kind of frowned upon if you're not a cop.


  1. Funny you should mention this.
    This morning I realized that my furniture polish is made "with real lemons!"...and my lemonade mix is not.

  2. My scanner will scan money in grayscale or black-n-white but not in color. I just wanted to use the corner of a dollar bill in newspaper ad but the scanner kept givin' me the finger 'til I went to grayscale.

    There's a COOL place in your state of Arizona where they teach driving techniques for those who chauffeur VIPs. You can learn the PIT and the Rockford 180 and stuff. One day I really hope to have the money to enroll.

  3. Divine, clearly companies want us to drink one of them. I smell a multimillion dollar lawsuit.

    Inno, I bought the scanner, it should scan whatever I want. The presumption of guilt that it implies angers me. And considering how fast the government is printing money, counterfeiting can hardly be considered a crime.

  4. On the money-scanning thing, I think the real lesson here is that Photoshop sucks.

    Which is not that big of a surprise, considering "user-friendly" is not a term in the Adobe vocabulary.