Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It's Over


Or Do I? Music Tuesday

I've Got A Bad Feeling About The Coming Year Music Tuesday

Someone's Got Big Plans For The New Year...

Modern Life Is Rubbish

Separated At Birth?

And Now For No Reason Whatsoever....

A psychokinetic elephant levitating a dog.

And Now A Very Special Message From Unknown Hinson

She looks alright to me.

This Is What I Sound Like When I'm Eating A Cheesesteak

No bummer segues here, just a happy porcupine.

And yes I was eating a cheesesteak when I posted this. Mmmm....

Oh, Yahoo Search Assist, You Know Me So Well

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Fair warning: I was just trying to write a segue for yet another youtube video so it doesn't look like I'm just posting videos to pad my blog post count but I kind of bummed myself out here.

I've always thought of New Year's Eve as kind of a melancholy holiday. In with the new, out with the old. I guess you could look at it as a sort of glass half full/empty litmus test for your personality type but I think even optimistic people look back at the passing year and feel a little sad even if they're hopeful for the new year. Even at a New Year's Eve party, the alone in a crowd feeling is kind of pervasive because we all have our own regrets about the passing year that are only reinforced when compared to what we hope for in the new year. We are all alone.
So here's Sam to make it all better.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

The First Annual Javelina Bomb Sportsman Of The Year Award

First: The Runner-ups.

The American League. I'm a National League guy but winning the World Series and the past two All Star games with shutouts? Credit where credit is due, my friends.
The Upton brothers. A combined 36 HRs and 96 RBIs and winning the NL East? Those are some proud parents.
Arnie! Still a class act and probably the best ambassador for any sport anywhere. Plus he's got that half tea half lemonade drink.
All fine choices but I'm afraid the one person who best exemplifies what sports is really about this year is...

Singing Hotdog Man. That's right, faced with yet another assault on the very integrity of America's Game, Singing Hotdog Man said, "Enough!"
"Marcuse, at the ballpark and on Twitter, has been a strong crusader for only putting mustard on a frank. And some fans thought he got combative when they asked for ketchup. There were complaints filed."
And he was fired for standing up to these anti-American commie trogs trying to put more red in our national past time. So we salute you, Singing Hot Dog Man, not just for standing up for the proper condiment on a hotdog but also... for standing up for America!
Damn straight, Hot Dog Man, damn straight.

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

The Sports Comeback Of The Year

Actually it's probably the biggest comeback ever because I can't think of a bigger one. The America's Cup this year had the winner as the first team to win nine races and Team New Zealand already had eight. And because of a penalty two wins for Team USA didn't count so they actually had to win eleven races total and eight in a row. And they did. Here's the final clinching race. I don't really care for catamarans in the America's Cup but the turn at 31 minutes blows me away. It's a 70 foot long boat with a 13 story mast and it's running completely out of the water with the crew probably two or more stories above the water.

So Yeah, If A Drone "Accidently" Hits The New York Times Building....

I think I know why Obama has been spying on the New York Times...

"During the attack"??? Am I missing something here? The New York Times knew there was going to be an attack and decided to show up and cover it but the Obama admin didn't? They know who the attackers are? Do they have pictures? Video? What the hell does this mean?

Time For A Commercial Break

The Foul-Mouthed Truth

Sounds Kinda Squatchy

More Dumb Humor

I'm A Dog

Still makes me laugh. Pro tip for the married ladies out there, this is quintessential guy humor. Show this to guys and you'll be hearing, "I can't, I'm a dawg" for weeks.

If You Want A Friend In Washington...

Another I-really-should-write-things-down picture that was supposed to go with a post that I forgot about.

Obama's Speeches Just Don't Have That Zing Anymore

Monday, December 30, 2013

Don't Tell Me It's Time For Another All-Out Blogging Binge

Sure, whatever, I don't even care.

By which I mean, you bet your sweet bippy!

I need 26 more posts to break even for the year and everything must go! It's barrel-scraping time. It's random stuff I find on the youtubes time. It's bad photoshops time! It's stuff that was supposed to come out but didn't because of racism, variances in the space-time continuum and general malaise! So sit back and we'll see how far I can go hopped up on Christmas cookies, candy canes and eggnog. Wooooo!!!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Another Candidate For Greatest Christmas Movie Ever?

Die Hard didn't have McClane ridin' no freakin' dinosaurs, man. Plus one in the Kung Fury column.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Monday, November 18, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Monday, November 4, 2013

Hey, Remember That One Photo?

The one where U.S. POWs captured by North Korea were forced against their will to do something they knew was wrong and yet were still able to fight back in the only way they could; by showing their middle fingers in the staged photos of their "confession"?

Now, I'm not one to start trouble, no-sir-ee-bob, and I'm certainly not comparing POWs to people who are tasked with spreading the enlightenment and wonder that is Obama's signature achievement but I happened to notice something in one of them there HealthCare.gov commercials for ObamaCare...
Let's just say he doesn't look like a willing propagandist... er... participant.

Friday, November 1, 2013


It's A Music To Disarm A Bomb To Music Friday

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Random Lyrics? Oh, You Better Believe They're Back

Why you gotta shove it in my face?
As if you put me in my place?
Cause I don't care if you or me is wrong or right.
Ain't gonna spend another night
In your bed.

Laws of men are just pretend.
They ain't mine.


Why'd you have to be so mean and cruel?
The dogs are loose I'm on to you.
You ball and chained together from the dawn to dusk.
Can't call it leavin cause it's just
I never came.

And What Would Halloween Be Without Alice Cooper

With special guest Slash (He's real you guys)

Happy Halloween

A Difference Of Twenty Years In Formula One

First, the Sunday drive. That's Fernando Alonso in a Ferrari with a 2.4L V-8. Notice how smooth the road is. Notice his hands on the wheel. Notice how smooth the engine sounds even though it's running at close to a mandated 18,000 RPM although it could run a lot higher. Power steering, power brakes and even fly by wire throttle. The driver points the car and the computer decides the rest.   Now to Ayrton Senna's McLaren with a 3.5L V-10 maybe getting up to 13,000 RPM. The engine's screaming because it's in pain. Notice he's also driving one handed because he still has to use a regular shift knob instead of those cool paddles behind the steering wheel. Notice how the engine wavers because the driver is getting his foot kicked off the accelerator by the bumps. It doesn't look like a video game. 

More Nightmare Fuel - And Probably With A Creepy English Accent

I was also going to go with...
  • I didn't want you to find out this way.
  • How does your coffee taste this morning? A little... "sweeter" than normal?
  • They've sent the signal to begin. I'm so sorry.
  • And now that I've told you all of this, there's just one more thing I have to do.
  • Once my demands are met then, and only then, will I tell you where your family is. 
  • I need to borrow the car.

This Is What My Nightmares Are Made Of

Oh, it's probably fine for the government to develop unstoppable human-killing machines... until they become self aware...

The Versailles Presidency

Yeah, So Obama's Getting Kind Of Aggressive With That Whole Stealing From the Next Generation Thing, Huh?

For Those Of You Who Still Believe In The Magic Of Movies....

Apparently George Lucas is still really interested in things he's intent on destroying.

And You People Wonder Why I Can't Sleep At Night

I just keep thinking about the man with the squirrel in his pants. Why did the man have a squirrel in his pants? Why?? WHY!!????

And Now For A Musical Interlude

You Know What's Sad?

When you read articles like this from a newspaper in a deep blue state with quotes like this...

"I really don't like the Republican tactics, but at least now I can understand why they are so pissed about this. When you take $10,000 out of my family's pocket each year, that's otherwise disposable income or retirement savings that will not be going into our local economy."

...and know that if an election were held today, Obama would still win reelection.

I Really Should Keep Notes On Things

I have no idea what post or story this picture was supposed to go with.

Oh, And Speaking Of Michael Bloomberg

When my father first came to this country there used to be a saying. When you did a good job on something you would clap your hands together and say, "Like New York!" It meant you did a really good job and you did it with class.

People don't say that anymore.

...I was going to post this a long time ago but didn't because it's dumb but now I need another post so...

So anyway, earlier this year I had the stomach flu or something and I was sicker than I had been in a really long time. I mean I felt sick, laid down on the couch and didn't get up for like three days. Like completely wiped out. And in this sickly malnourished and dehydrated state certain things I heard or saw played with me fragile little mind. First there was the Russian meteor explosion I turned on the television right after the part where they said it was actually a meteor(ite), where they started talking about nuclear explosions and yeah, my brain kind of took off into hysterics. Luckily when I awoke after plowing head first into the wall at the end of the cellar stairs

Next came Joe Biden, who kind of makes you question reality when you're stone cold sober anyway but he started arguing for more gun control by telling people to go buy shotguns and murder people from your balconies. At least we got a song out of it.
And then there's this. I don't know what this is.
  I could say the whole mess is pretty representative of Michael Bloomberg's ego, a big extravaganza that's supposed to look large when it's really in a mostly empty arena, but I'm still wondering why Destro from GI Joe is waving the French flag at 10:00. Or New York City flag, whatever.

Is It Time For An All Out Blogging Binge?

Yes it is, Other Barry, yes it is. As most of you know... well, ok maybe you don't but I have a semi sort of self imposed goal of knocking out ten blog posts a month. I know, exhausting. Especially with the high quality I maintain. But anyway, in order to catch up to my quota I have to get to 100 posts by the end of October. Tomorrow. Or... well now today. Which means I need 40. Do I have that level of blogging commitment?

Well.... no. Obviously.

And I'm not sure where I'll get that level of motivation either but we'll see. I may have to get weird. I may have to get cheap. I may have to scrape the bottom of the barrel. I just hope I don't do that Ace of Spades bit where I say, "I hope I don't do one of those posts where I say I was going to post this a long time ago but didn't because it's dumb but now I need another post" and then the very next thing I post is, "I was going to post this a long time ago but didn't because it's dumb but now I need another post"....

Thursday, October 24, 2013

So Yeah, Obama Hates The Marines

Well sure, he has a distaste for anyone willing to defend "America" but it seems it's especially acute with regard to our Marine Corps. It's all about putting people in their place with authority you didn't earn. Which is pretty much the only kind of authority a Liberal can attain.
And oh yeah...

Exit question: Are you sure we can take three more years of this?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Monday, September 30, 2013

Your ObamaCare Wise Old Saying Of The Day

"Un pazzo getta una pietra nel pozzo, e vi voglion cento savii a cavarnela"

A fool can throw a rock into a well that a hundred wise men can't get out.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Our President Is A Truly Worthless Human Being

First the quote that's got the blood boiling on the right, and apparently the only part of his speech that hit the mark he intended.

"And so, to my friends on the right, I ask you to reconcile your commitment to America’s military might with a failure to act when a cause is so plainly just. To my friends on the left, I ask you to reconcile your belief in freedom and dignity for all people with those images of children writhing in pain, and going still on a cold hospital floor. For sometimes resolutions and statements of condemnation are simply not enough."

First, I had no idea he still had friends on the right.

Second, it's always nice to know that unstatesmanlike behavior and impolitic bitching just can't be contained by rough drafts. Every thought is a jewel.

It's also nice to know that the dichotomy of the political parties is literally one of good versus evil. Obama wants to appeal to the Republicans' dumb need to blow up foreigners yet appeal to Democrats' "belief in freedom and dignity for all people with those images of children writhing in pain". That's right, Dems, President Lots O' Abortions wants you to think about the children. And Freedom! But you Republicans, git yer guns and yer Bibles. Thers brown peoples to massacree!

The best part? The accolades President Dronestrike will receive from the press for outsmarting everyone and stopping the war he was starting. He's like that Tianamen Square guy except Obama is both driving the tank and standing in front of it. Does it stop Assad from killing anyone which was the whole reason for this fiasco? Nope. Unprecedented! Unicorns are real, you guys!

But questions: He was going to lose a vote in the House and the Senate. Britain and almost all of Europe had already signaled they weren't going to lend a hand. Russia is most likely going to block anything in the UN. What happens if Assad continues killing people? Can Obama resist the siren song of another vacation long enough to use his diminished standing in the world to allow Vladimir Putin to bail him out again? Stay tuned!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Your Schadenfreude-y Quote Of The Day

 "Obama was elected after he and his party sowed distrust of U.S. military endeavors, mocked "intelligence estimates" about "weapons of mass destruction," and suggested that anything the United States did in the region was probably somehow a scheme to benefit oil companies. Now Obama and his administration are shocked to find that when they go on about intelligence estimates and weapons of mass destruction, people don't take them seriously."

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Good News, Anti-War Liberals! Obama's Got A New Theme Song!

Why aren't "artists" moved to write songs like this when liberals go to war?

Monday, August 26, 2013

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of A Sudden Again

  • How do the children of Libertarians rebel against their parents?
  • The America's Cup needs to get back to mono hulls. Catamarans suck.
  • Meat is murder. But if you think about it, so are vegetables.
  • Say what you will about Birtherism, but it does explain a lot about Obama.
  • Most of life's problems can be solved with a "Superfly" Snuka body slam.
  • Americans would be in better shape if more people dined and dashed.
  • If humans had tails, there would be a lot more cases of sexual harassment.

Friday, August 9, 2013

I Am An Angry Shark

Via Ace's ONT, What type of shark are you? And be quick about it because Shark Week is almost over and we'll soon have to go back to pretending that a sharknado could never happen in real life even though it totally could.

It's A President Obama Has Chosen A New National Anthem Music Friday (Parental Advisory)

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Separated At Birth?

It's uncanny! Plus they both have a thing for groping women who pass through their lagoons...er...offices. Oh, and as usual the press and the Democrat Party haven't acknowledged their misdeeds for decades.

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Your Picture Of The Day

Photo courtesy of 3AW Breakfast.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Monday, July 29, 2013

Thursday, July 25, 2013

"We Want To Convince You That We Can Hurt You...."

But just because these guys work for DARPA don't you dare connect the dots with this.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Where's Our Recovery Summer?

Ok, now I'm starting to get worried. Everyone's looking at Obama's unilateral and probably illegal decision to postpone the employer mandate of Obamacare as an admission that it's a horribly conceived piece of legislation which will no doubt lead to a world in which werewolves and zombies roam the earth devouring the flesh of unsuspecting humans and forcing suspecting humans to live underground in abandoned mines subsisting on seeping rainwater, mushrooms and Flintstones' vitamins. No argument here. But you can bet it was Democrats demanding something (so they don't get crushed in the elections next year) and not employers (the 4%!) who suddenly (after 3 years ) decided they needed more time, despite whatever messaging will come out next week.

But what if election worries are not entirely what led to The LightBringer's sudden shift? What if it's actually a canary in the coal mine that maybe the economy is making some depression-like noises? Why did he suddenly drop the "recovery summer" schtick this year after three embarrassing years of failed messaging? It's not like he's shown a pattern of learning from his mistakes. And maybe it's just me, but when I think of Obama voters, I don't necessarily think of the gainfully employing. If he was only trying to protect Democrat candidates and their voters then wouldn't he also postpone the individual mandate? It just seems that's there's more to this considering how awful the optics look. So in conclusion.... DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Oh, and if there are any gamblers out there, the odds that Obama un-postpones his employer mandate and blames it all on a silly miscommunication are opening at 10-1, because (seriously) when even Brian Williams is making snide comments about Obama being out of the country when dropping this news... ouch. The odds that he also postpones the individual mandate are now at 15-1, although they were at 60-1 a few days ago. Werewolves and zombies still coming in at 8-1.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Friday, June 14, 2013

Like Clockwork It's Music Friday

Their last album really grew on me to the point where it's almost my favorite even though I didn't really like it at first. I like this one so far. Enjoy the freaky video.

Oh and the end is fucking nigh.

With Everything That's Been Going On These Past Few Weeks Who Knows What Will Finally Make Obama Snap

You People Are Out of Practice

It's either going to be a zombie apocalypse or the IRS coming for that $2.50 you thoughtlessly forgot to include in tribute to His Majesty The Great Hussein so you might as well be up to par with our "adversaries".

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Random Thoughts On Whatever

I haven't felt very bloggy in a while so to keep this blog going you people get random stuff that could have been turned into whole posts but won't because meh.

Harry Reid killed George W. Bush's immigration reform. Democrats had two filibuster proof years to pass immigration reform and didn't do a single thing. And now Democrats won't pass immigration reform if Republicans want to protect the border even though that's something we're already supposed to be doing. Democrats don't want immigration reform.

So let me get this straight, it was wrong to snoop on Muslims during the Bush years because that was racial profiling but it's ok to snoop on everyone now because some of us might be guilty of something? Outstanding.

When Obama says that nobody is listening to your calls, I can't help but think "nobody" is a Siri or Watson AI program. See, he's not lying! Robots aren't people!

Obama's not exactly being subtle about this Prism spy thing, is he?

But at least the IRS is making amends. Problem solved! Hey wait a minute, the IRS wasn't involved in the spying scandal, were they?

Did you see the news last week about that lesbian who almost got her arms torn off at the shoulder by a sasquatch? Freaky.

Oh and what's going on with Allahpundit lately? Nary a RINO-y opinion, raining blows on Chris Christie and now Guy Benson is challenging his candy-assedness? Did he move to Texas and start nailing hot chicks? Is he drinking his whiskey with rattlesnake blood Arizona-style? Did he...is he... eh, I got nothing. Damn you, Obama! You and your comedy-sucking NSA mind robots!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Friday, May 17, 2013


How many God-damned staffers does this piece of crap have that could have held a fricken umbrella? Or hey, how about, "It looks like rain. Let's hold this little shindig inside." But no, the middle finger that is our commander-in-chief decided to use a couple of Marines as umbrella stands. Gee, I wonder if that explains this?

Friday, May 3, 2013

Counterproposal; Music Friday

Monday, April 22, 2013

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Ultimate Palate Cleanser

This Is What It Sounds Like When Doves Cry

He seems so...angry. But like he's so angry that he's about to burst into tears, as if his man came home smelling like that hairdresser down the street with the bad weave but he can't call him on it because he told him he trusted him after that last fight so he has to keep it inside. Be strong, Barry. You still got ObamaCare. But yeah, he sounds peeved. And like everyone else I'm going to point out that he seems more upset at the political defeat than about what motivated it.

Oh, and don't bother doing one of those word cloud things because it's going to be one giant "90%". I don't know where that number came from because it's awfully darn clear that 90% didn't support this bill or senators wouldn't be scared out of their minds at being voted out of their jobs. Seems obvious to me but whatever.

Anyway, my favorite reality bender is that "a wide majority" of NRA households supported this bill. I had no idea. I just assumed it was the NRA who was trying to stop this legislation but I guess it was someone else. It's a good thing too because the NRA spent almost three million dollars lobbying last year and who could withstand an onslaught of that magnitude? Why that's almost what Obama spends flying around the country for political props!

The one thing I do know is that I think this one hurt. Lame duck status comes up pretty quickly in your second term and with all the political capital Obama expended he couldn't even get this bill through the Democrat-controlled Senate. He probably assumed he could get it through there and spend most of his time shaming those evil House Republicans and either getting a bill passed which he would take credit for or setting up Republicans as child murderers and winning the House back next year. But instead he got his balls handed to him. And now he's pissed. Which should probably make the immigration bill debate extra fun.

And p.s.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Friday, April 12, 2013

Politics 101

"Here's a general rule," the president joked. "You don't put stuff on your head if you're president. That's politics 101. You never look good wearing something on your head."

A little late for that, MomJeans.

So maybe it was just what was on the helmet that offended his fashion sense.

Monday, April 8, 2013


I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Might As Well Say Something About Our Popelessness

Like absolutely everyone else, I have no idea who the next pope will be. But I will say that if there is anything worse than listening to noted Christian-hater Christiane Amanpour's dysphonic voice while CNN uses her as a (mannish) voice of authority on all things papal, I don't know what that would be. I'll just assume they're using her because Richard Dawkins was busy. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm leaning toward (guessing) an Italian pope, and it also seems like it will be decided very quickly i.e. this week. Considering what's going on in Africa there may be a good chance that a pope comes from Africa if the conclave is looking to make a political statement. Some people think the longer the conclave goes the better the chances of having an American pope but I don't know. Oh, and if you're wondering what the response from the media will be like, it will probably be something like this...

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of A Sudden

  • The later at night it is, the more commas I use,
  • After much consideration and a lot of soul-searching I have decided to bring sexy back
  • Sometimes I wish I was on Obama's drone kill list.
  • I need a theme song.
  • I like monkeys and werewolves. In that order.
  • Is anyone else bothered by the way Jabba the Hutt walks around naked in the Star Wars movies?
  • A gatling gun qualifies as a revolver, right?
  • Maybe it's just me but if you don't want to get caught making moonshine you probably shouldn't have a camera crew tagging along.
  • There's no proof Philosophy exists.
  • And this one from someone on Twitter: Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Monday, March 11, 2013

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Republicans Lost

And they lost bad. Normally the media would be rending their clothes and beating their chests about how puppies and grandmothers will be murdered because of this legislation. And that's when they just win, when they're forced to give one small concession to those evil Rethuglicans. But look at the reaction from the media. No outrage. No screaming. It's over. Still don't believe me? Try this sickening pap. Hey, did you know the deficit goes up because of this fiscal cliff bill? Did you know that it actually raises taxes on the middle class? Shhhhhhh.....not too loud. Obama's legacy must not be tainted! Obama gets to say he kept his promise to spare the middle class from higher taxes when he really didn't and then gets what he really wanted all along, more kindling to fuel his socialist programs. Happy New Year.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


An AllahPundit-esque Quotes Of The Deal


The deal to take us back from the edge of the fiscal cliff (actual cliff not included) features $41 of real-as-a-heart-attack tax increases for every $1 of imaginary never-gonna-happen spending cuts.

What did the GOP get out of the deal? The loss of the last thing it actually stood for.


” You can’t save all 100, so I’m not going to try? I don’t think that’s what the Red Cross guys teach you,” Norquist said. “Get as many out as you can. Save as many taxpayers as you can. That’s what this fight is about right now. The next fight is over spending.”


Go f— yourself,” Boehner sniped as he pointed his finger at Reid, according to multiple sources present.

Reid, a bit startled, replied: “What are you talking about?”

Boehner repeated: “Go f— yourself.”


Biden should have been running this show for past month. He understands legislating - in contrast to his boss.


Obama, speaking from the White House briefing room shortly after the vote, praised lawmakers for coming together to avert a tax increase that “could have sent the economy back into a recession.”
“A central premise of my campaign for president was the change the tax code that was too skewed toward the wealthy at the expense of working, middle-class Americans. Tonight, we’ve done that,” the president said.

But he signaled that the legislation was “just one step in the broader effort” of getting the nation’s finances in order while boosting growth and job creation.

“The deficit is still too high,” he said, warning Republicans that he would stick with his demands for a “balanced” approach blending spending cuts with revenue increases, notably from the rich and wealthy corporations.


Less than an hour after Congress and the White House resolved the fiscal cliff, President Obama boarded Air Force One to return to his planned Hawaiian holiday vacation.

While in his native Hawaii, Obama his expected to spend time with his family at their private rental home; golfing on a local Marine base; and enjoying the outdoors on the beach or area hiking trails.


Hard to believe we might have the same leadership in the next Congress as we did for this process, but then not long ago it was also hard to believe we’d have the same leadership in the White House and the Senate in 2013 as we had in 2012. And yet here we are.