Friday, September 5, 2014

Hey Chuck Todd, Prepare To Hear The Word "Strategy"

Apparently, the smartest president evah has decided that a 38% approval might be the trigger point to hold a séance with a true believer and fool the people into thinking he's competent. After being elected and then reelected he'll probably do it, but since Chuck Todd's new to the job he might need some help thinking up questions appropriate for a prestigious visit from El Presidente...
  • How may I serve you, my master?
  • So which fundraiser are you going to after this?
  • Did you know your eyes sparkle like a million stars made of diamonds?
  • How are those new golf clubs working out for you?
  • Al-Qaeda has stated they are expanding into India, when do we release the hashtag?
  • I received your pre-approved questions sheet but weren't you supposed to autograph it?
  • What kind of well-thought-out super strategic statement to ISIL were you making with the beige suit?
  • It's very nice to have you in our studio, Mr. President but who's entertaining Biden with the monkey puppet while you're here?
  • If I promise not to tell will you whisper who the Kirsten Gillibrand chubby chaser is?
  • If you had a presidency that was dissolving into malaise and incompetence, what kind of tree would you be?

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