Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
- That's enough, candy-ass, that's enough.
- Hey, go with what works, right?
- Go with what works, part 2
- But I thought Obama told us the economy was fine...
- I was going to end this with a quote of Kevin Williamson reading Lena Dunham's book but, as Ace says, that's way too horrifying, so I'll leave you with this scary thought....
Friday, October 24, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
My usual coming-from-behind to try to make my yearly quota ain't happening this year so you people are going to get nothing. Well, maybe a few YouTube videos. And some leftovers from previous years. But probably not much else. Unless it's John Houseman telling a ghost story. So turn up the sound and turn down the lights... Halloween is coming.
Apparently, a certain blogger needed to leave his state in a hurry and move somewhere with access to both the border and the open ocean. Hey, who am I to judge? If they ever look into my crawlspace I may have to... uh... never mind. Anyway, now that this fugitive from the corn is heading to a southern state, specifically Texas, there may be a few things he needs to know...
- Your odds of getting Ebola just went up.
- Your odds of getting hit by a tornado, hurricane and a Cadillac with a set of horns on the hood also just went up.
- Your odds of thinking, "Hey, it's so nice out tonight I think I'll sleep outside like they did in the olden days", and then waking up with a rattlesnake curled up in your crotch just went up too.
- We don't have seasons down here. They kept getting in the way of our barbequeing.
- Texas leads the nation in executions so whatever you did in Iowa you best not do that down here.
- Secession isn't a last resort down here, it's a default position.
- Yes, there really are armadillos in Amarillo.
- You're in Texas now, things no longer get better if you keep moving south. They actually get much, much worse.
- Hey carpetbagger, prepare to hear the word, "carpetbagger".
- You're now a little higher up on the food chain. The corn grown in Iowa is used for Texas cattle feed. (probably, I don't really know)
- Oh, and speaking of which, you have a new life's goal.