Wednesday, October 21, 2015

So I Guess I Have To Say Something About This New Star Wars Movie

First of all, I'm getting kind of a Phantom Menace thing from all the hype. I'm actually surprised that anyone would give this kind of leeway to a new Star Wars movie after all the prequels were so terrible but whatever. Also, am I the only one who thought the battle action scenes (the ones not in space) in the trailers look kind of fakey like in Phantom Menace? CGI environments don't work in daytime, people (At least not yet apparently).

Second, the trailers seem to hint at an offspring of Luke (or Leia). When they first started talking about the three new young actors a while ago, I thought it would be the pilot guy who would be the heir because at the time they said something or other about how he was "the best pilot in the galaxy". But now I don't even think he's on the movie poster so whatever again. Then I thought it was the girl because they put her front and center and also because she looks like she's from Tatooine (that's Luke's home planet!)(or maybe the desert planet is Jakku??) and also she's a girl and this is 2015 and girls are exactly equal to men and "Take that!" say the SJWs. But now I'm thinking it's the John Boyega character since he's the only one of the three who seems to have a light saber in the trailer and the poster. And also "Take that!" say the SJWs because can you imagine the anger of all three of the people who had a problem with a black storm trooper or whatever if he's actually Luke's son?

But one thing, after the first trailer I thought Boyega was just part of the rebellion and he had stolen the stormtrooper uniform to escape from something but now they say he really is/was a stormtrooper. But how can this be since he's not Polynesian or whatever like the prequels told us all clones were? And does this mean that there are more of him and that in the next sequel he's going to have to fight himself/himselves?

Another thought I had is that the black guy... no not Boyega... the other black... I mean he's dressed all in black.... the villain guy, Rilo Kiley or whatever he's called, I thought he might be Luke's son and he turned bad like his grandfather (maybe the dark side always skips a generation like cancer or a predisposition to murdering younglings or something) and that's why he has Darth Vader's head because that seems like a normal thing to do if you're the son of a Jedi whose father was also a Jedi but who had turned evil because he couldn't stand Natalie Portman's acting. And also does his mask have a duckbill? Is that supposed to be some tie-in with Donald Duck and the whole Disney thing?

Oh, and apparently Chewbacca dies. In this last trailer the girl (Rey?) is crying over someone. At first I thought it was Luke (her father?) but then I remembered Jedis are magic and they disappear when they die, so it has to be someone who isn't a Jedi. And plus whoever it is looks kind of furry so Chewy?

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